I loathe exercise. Have I mentioned it before? Well I do, always have. The very idea of it makes me cringe & maintaining a routine when I do occasionally get myself moving is a massive effort for me. Honestly, I feel exhausted just at the thought of words like ‘cardio’ & ‘strength training’. Oh & just watch me roll my eyes at the mere mention of ‘endorphin rush’. Exercise hurts, it make me go all beetroot red, sweat, smell & jiggle in all the wrong places. Then by the time it is over, I feel like vomiting & passing out.
Nothing about that makes me feel energised & enthusiastic to do it over & over again. Quite the opposite in fact – it just convinces me that I want to sit back down & eat more ice cream. Now there’s an activity I can (& too often do) truly get excited about!
So I ask myself, for about the thousandth time in the last few days, why have I just signed myself up to go to the frickin’ gym!?!?!?!
(Image Source) (Holy heck … I thought contraptions like these were only found in a gyno’s office or labour ward!!)
It’s no secret that I have struggled with weight control, from childhood right through. I love food, but I am not naturally athletic or energetic. Even as a child, my mother says I much preferred to sit & read, rather than run around & play games. This was likely a combination of being incredibly shy & tragically uncoordinated. After several embarrassing stumbling / tumbling, flashing my undies for all to see type incidents, I think I decided it was better to avoid activity, especially the group kind wherever possible!
The yo-yo dieting started in my teens, after years of teasing & emotional eating, I have hit rock bottom physically &/or psychologically & looked for the quickest way out. I have been on the Ginseng Diet, the Soup Diet, Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers & Tony Ferguson – just to name a few. I have tried pills & potions, herbs & spices, patches & powders.
There have also been times where I have been a gym & swim junkie, worked my Hips, Thighs & Buttocks with Denise Austin – minus the leotard, Tae Boed it with Billy Blanks & Flash Danced it (badly) like a fiend – minus the leotard & leg warmers, (well ok, maybe there were leg warmers involved). All done begrudgingly, all successful … all only for a short while.
(Video Source) (Awful movie, but still a classic scene!)
Fast forward a couple of decades & nothing much has changed. My eating & exercising habits wax & wane depending on my emotional state & my health improves & declines accordingly. You would think that at 42 I would have learned balance & moderation, but sadly, I am very much still a work in progress in that regard. I am currently at a place in my life where I am filled with frustration & disappointment at the state of my fitness & shape of my body. Moreover, I know my health is at risk & that is unacceptable.
In order to live long enough to see my children into adulthood & (hopefully) play with my grandchildren, I need to change my focus, attitude & hold myself accountable for my health & happiness. I signed on the dotted line with my local Contours Gym where apparently the current affirmation is, ‘One life, one body … no excuses’. Did I mention I dislike affirmations? They always make me feel lazy & apathetic (& just a little cynical). It might be true, but I don’t have to like or embrace it!
As I am fully aware that I have a horrendous track record of sticking to anything like this, I have, of course, decided to blog about it. What could possibly go wrong!?!
I intend to document my progress in a new series called ‘Fresh Mind & Body’. I suspect that, at times, this will not be the most inspired or upbeat record of events – like I said – I hate exercise & I really, really hate going to the gym – but one does what one must. If nothing else though, I do hope that by writing things down, it helps to keep me on track, gives me a space to express my feelings about progress, good, bad or otherwise & most importantly, to keep it real. I tend to overlook the small actual stuff in preference for wishing for unattainable big stuff, which sometimes leads me to a place of melancholy & bitterness . I want to learn to stop, appreciate & accept the small actual stuff & hopefully myself in kind. That would be nice.
Wish me luck!!
Oh, I will also keep on getting recipes up as often as I can! That is after all, why I came here in the first place!
Cook! Eat! Enjoy!